Damned if you do.

Our discussions in class have recently been based on trauma and memorials that are created in honor and remembrance of a traumatic event.  We discussed the symptoms of trauma and the effects that a traumatic experience have on a person, like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I could not help but think of my own experience with a traumatic event and the role that politics played in that event.

On April 27th, 2011 I was living in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and finishing up my senior year of college.  I was stressing about finals and getting excited for graduation.  We had been having bad weather the days leading up to the 27th and the weather was weird on the 27th, but strangely it was sunny out.  For 4 years of undergrad I had gotten used to the tornado sirens going off regularly, either because it was the monthly testing or as a warning of a real tornado, but no tornado had actually hit Tuscaloosa, so we never really took it seriously.  I had been hanging out with friends all day long, coming and going from my apartment and the weather channel had been all day long warning us of the tornado that was coming, but again we didn't take it seriously because we had been warned about these storms for years and one had never actually come close to touching the ground.  As it got later in the day, the weather reporters started getting really serious about the storm and were warning us that this storm was going to be really bad and to be prepared.  My friends and I threw a bunch of pillows and blankets in the bathroom and got a pizza, ready for a night of no power and bad rain.  We could no longer watch the weather channel because of the storm and I remember the wind started getting really bad and it was hailing, so we rain into the bathroom, laughing and joking around, having know idea the beast that was ripping apart my town already.  We had only been in there for maybe a minute, when I decided to go look out the windows and see what was going on outside.  I remember standing on my porch and calling to my friends that the sky was green and it was eerily still, no hail, no wind, nothing.  It was strange.  The people across the street from me, who could see over the apartment complex behind me (the direction the tornado was coming from), started screaming at us to go inside and take cover.  We ran inside and went into the bathroom, and within seconds the power was out and the pressure began to change, our ears started popping.  I started to hear this sound coming through the air-vent that sounded like a freight train and I remember repeatedly asking my friends what that sound was.  

When it quieted back down, we went outside and everything that I saw after that completely changed my life.  The town that I had lived in for 4 years, my home, was destroyed.  It had been ripped up by a tornado so fierce and strong, destroying everything in its wake.  It was so surreal, like being on a movie set or in a city destroyed by a war.  I remember calling my dad and crying, telling him over the phone that everything was gone, everything was destroyed, and he scoffed it off as me being dramatic, but when he and my brothers started watching the footage of the tornado and could see my apartment complex in the video, they realized how bad it was.  I am normally never at a loss for words, but I am still when it comes to describing what I saw that night and the weeks after the tornado.  My friends houses were gone, as if they never existed.  The places that I visited regularly were destroyed, never to be visited again.  The streets that I drove on everyday were covered in debris, with no way to travel on them except by foot.  My town was completely destroyed.  People were injured and killed, people that I knew.  It was the most traumatic event that I have ever been through, one a completely different scale than the death of my own mother.  For weeks after the event, I had flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety attacks, all of the symptoms of PTSD.  I still freak out every time it storms and things like the smell of freshly cut trees or the sound of a train passing by remind me of the tornado, making it all very real again.  I still get sick to my stomach every time I watch the video of the tornado that I am sharing on here.  You can see the roof of my apartment complex behind the shopping strip across the street from where he is filming in this video.

I honestly don't think that I can convey what the tornado did to me in this blog.  It was so traumatic and  I have times when I can talk about it without getting upset and other times I will be in tears instantly.  Right now I am able to distance myself from the event to explain it, but I don't think that it can really convey my emotions about the event.  I am including in this blog pictures that I took in the days following the tornado, so perhaps you can see what I saw.  It is really hard to explain what it is like to somebody who wasn't there.  Just try and imagine walking outside your front door and suddenly everything is leveled and you can see clear across town, see things that would normally be obstructed from view by buildings and houses, which are now gone.

But how does this all relate to politics?  The reason that I am sharing this story is because of something that happened 2 days after the tornado.  In the middle of the search and rescue for people still buried under debris, the city of Tuscaloosa had to be shut down because somebody special was coming to visit, President

Obama.  He and his wife came to Tuscaloosa to show their support and to witness the damage.  Obama said that he had "never seen devastation like this before" and that he was doing "everything we can to help these communities".  Well Mr. President, I don't think you were really helping people when you came to Tuscaloosa.  The entire city had to be SHUT DOWN so that he could have his photo op.  I understand that it is a damned if you do, damned if you don't type of situation and that after President Bush's major screw up after Hurricane Katrina, Obama probably thought it was necessary and important for him to be there.  I know that he was trying to show his support and show Americans that he cared about the natural disaster that occurred and
 the people who had been through this traumatic event.  But honestly, in my opinion,  all his visit did was shut our city down and put the search and rescue missions on hold so that he could walk around Tuscaloosa.  There could have been people saved that could still be alive today if everything had not been shut down for him.  I understand that his visit probably brought a lot of people hope, but couldn't he have waited a couple of days?  I know that there isn't really a right or wrong thing to do in this situation and he was probably doing the best thing he thought he should, which was to visit, but I just think he needed to stay out of it those first couple of days.  The people in Tuscaloosa lost EVERYTHING.  It was destroyed.  There were people buried alive under rubble, needing to be saved.  But it had to be stopped because Obama and his wife needed a photo opportunity and wanted to come shake some hands, maybe secure a couple votes with nice words for the next election.  I don't know.  It is a difficult situation and I think that he needed to come visit, but he should've given more than just 2 days for the rescue mission to happen before he caused it all to be shut down.  But that is politics.